A New Path: Acknowledging and Healing Childhood Trauma
Awareness to the concept of childhood trauma is at an all time high. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have experienced some form of trauma throughout our lives. Childhood trauma, however, is unique, and can have a lasting impact on individuals throughout their lives. For some of us, our childhood traumas are embedded so deeply into our beings, that we genuinely believe “that’s just who I am,” but the truth is that it’s actually who you were taught to be and it’s time to unlearn that person.
As we grow older and spend more time evaluating our lives and learning who we are and who we’d like to become, we begin to see how big of a role our childhood experiences have played in the person we are today. You’ll likely find that recognizing some of your early experiences as childhood traumas will assist you in not only healing those traumas, but also in transforming maladaptive characteristics into something more powerful, positive and liberating. Much like any form of healing, it will certainly take time and patience.
So, what is childhood trauma? According to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, childhood trauma refers to one or more traumatic events that children have been exposed to over the course of their childhood where they develop reactions that persist and affect their daily lives well after the traumatic event has concluded. The ways in which these traumas affect individuals may be conscious or subconscious.
Generally speaking, these events can include witnessing or experiencing:
Mental Abuse
Physical Abuse/Neglect
Emotional Abuse/Neglect
Sexual Abuse
Natural Disasters
Childhood trauma can often lead to feelings of inadequacy, difficulty expressing or processing one’s emotions and feelings of shame or guilt. These side effects are often the most apparent in adult relationships. As children, we learn emotions and their generalized associations over time through experience. Being exposed to the types of traumatic events listed above throughout the formative years of adolescence often leads to challenges with emotional expression and appropriate emotional responses. In turn, this often leads to the lack of developing healthy coping mechanisms. There is no textbook way to prepare a child for primary or secondary trauma. However, there are a number of ways to heal it.
A less spoken about form of childhood trauma is neglect. However, neglect can have the same or worse side effects as explicit abuse. Effects of childhood emotional neglect can show up in adult relationships in many different forms. One may develop insecure attachment styles, emotional disorders, and/or generalized or social anxiety.
As an adult, it is likely that these traumas have developed into forms of self sabotage. You may be aware you are self sabotaging, but have no idea why or how that even began — therapy can help. Self sabotage due to childhood trauma may lead to an aversion to truly intimate relationships, choosing more casual flings instead. You may consciously or inadvertently search for a partner with the same unhealthy traits your abuser carried. Maybe the reason you’ve created complete distance between yourself and a specific type of person is directly connected to a childhood trauma you’ve yet to heal. What ever the case, your childhood traumas can very easily manipulate or drastically alter the way in which you navigate through your adult relationships and emotions.
There are ways to heal your childhood trauma:
Acknowledge that trauma is present
Acceptance
Seek professional support
Apply professional techniques
Replace current thought process & behaviors
Be patient
Acknowledging that trauma is present is an important first step in your healing journey because if you are not able to acknowledge that you’ve experienced a traumatic event, it is nearly impossible to accept that you have — let alone heal these traumas. Acknowledgement differs from acceptance in the fact that acknowledging anything is the act of recognizing that something exists while acceptance is conveying that whether you agree with said events or not, they did in fact occur. Seeking professional support through therapy is a great way to aid in navigating this journey. Therapy will provide the proper tools and resources to healing your inner child.
Through therapy, one is provided a safe and professional space to unpack the heavy luggage of childhood trauma, which in turn, will allow understanding, healing and forgiveness. Acknowledging and healing our childhood trauma will make for healthier relationships with ourselves as well as our loved ones. Healing allows us to connect with our partners in a healthier capacity while also allowing an understanding of ourselves on a deeper level. Understanding makes for a smoother transition into acceptance. Through therapy, you will be provided a number of coping skills geared toward your unique and specific healing journey. From there, you will be able to unlearn the behaviors, characteristics and ideologies that were created as direct impact from previous traumas.
Of course, traumatic events are never easy and oftentimes, sorting through the gravel to reach a level of acceptance feels just as daunting as the actual trauma, but it is without a doubt worth every step of the journey. Healing is possible. Support is available. The support of a therapist will ensure that you never feel alone while you heal your childhood traumas. It will also ensure that you are supported and guided along this journey.
